Is Giftedness Gender-blind?

If you know me, I have a pretty strong opinion (maybe understatement) about women and their ministry in the Kingdom of God. To put it plainly, when we come to Christ we receive the gift of the Holy Spirit (it says believer not male or female). When we receive this gift, He helps us use "natural" abilities to extend the kingdom and also "spiritual" gifts appropriated by the Father for our work. In our ministry, my husband and I don't have to think about who does what...we know each others strengths, giftedness, and abilities. There is no question as to who does finance (in case you are wondering..it's me) or who coordinates social ministry (that's his department). We don't make a big deal about it or even make an issue when people question it. What is disturbing is the ever present hurdles to such an approach to co-ministry. So, I guess my question to you is this...How can we as a church "plug-in" leadership based upon gender and not giftedness? Why is a woman as Chief of Staff a big deal (considering the lip service we give to women's equality in service)? Why should we be concerned that we have a numerically balanced ministry (so many men and so many women in positions) if we are basing it on giftedness and competence?